What's For Christmas?

Like many people, Christmas for me is 'The Most Wonderful Time of the Year"! I really do love all the bustle, the shopping, the cooking and all that goes with Christmas. From writing out cards and putting up all the decorations inside and outside the house, and planning our Family Reunion which follows Christmas generally. This year it will be one week before Christmas, and hopefully that works for everyone in the family so we have a good attendance. Most often it's not a problem, as everyone loves getting together. Also, I have a new Christmas tree this year. The one we had before was getting yellowed due to the heat in our garage in the summer time. It was a white tree originally and I couldn't figure out how to restore it, so I bought a green one this time. If you read below, you will see that My Rog will be celebrating Christ's Birthday with the Lord himself -- he's moved to Heaven, and though I miss him terribly, I know he would not want me to stop having our family reunions. He was so happy about being in my family and enjoying times with them, that I know he would not want me to stop celebrating how much we love each other. No, Christmas is not the same without Roger...needless to say, but it is still special, as it is a time to remember the Lord's birth and the reason for his coming, and that He will come again!! Something I truly celebrate in my heart! Actually, I believe that having to plan this event will help me from being consumed by the fact that Rog is not here with me this year to enjoy opening gifts on Christmas Day and our special Christmas dinner and just his presence every day. My family is great about keeping me busy and staying close so that I am not alone too much. It is not the easiest thing to work through life alone when you have known so much love and care from your husband, but I am having to learn, and I will.

Getting back to the celebrating of Christmas, I will be narrating our Christmas program this year, which will be fun, and singing with the Praise Team. That too will be good for me, as I will have things to do and that will be a blessing to others in the church family. Christmas is a time for blessing other people, and I hope to do some of that again this year.

I'm hoping we get some really good snow this Christmas. There is nothing so peaceful and beautiful in my opinion than new fallen snow. It leaves such a blanket of rest on the land, and in the soul. I love looking at it sparkle in the sunlight, and glisten in the moonlight at night. I love the frosty feeling in the air, and the unending beauty of snow that has not been touched or walked over. Rain and snow have the same affect on me -- they make me feel refreshed and at the same time very peaceful and calm. Both of which are good for me and maybe now more than ever.

• And as for What's Up for Christmas? Lots of good cooking. I want to experiment with some new desserts and if I find anything really exciting I will post it here for you to see....and give you the source for the recipe if it is a web recipe.
  
• I am learning to play some Christmas music, and if I am good enough, I may play at church during the Holidays, which will be good for me. I need to get accustomed to playing for other people. I used to play for Roger, and he loved hearing me practice my piano ...which only someone who loves you can enjoy when you are first starting out. Now I have been playing for awhile, so I am not exactly unable to play music, but the songs are not too terribly complicated. Enough to make them sound fairly good when I do it right though. So I need to find myself a new audience, and develop a comfort zone for playing publicly. Eventually I hope to play at church and make our worship services a little fuller than they are right now . With God's help, right!!?
  
• Cooking has always been something I enjoyed. I have learned to cook a lot of different foods while married to Roger, and I always liked experimenting with new recipes. Lately I haven't done much cooking, as Rog was the one who inspired me to cook. I've also lost a fair amount of weight in the last 6 months, which isn't a bad thing, but I haven't actually been trying to lose either. There is just a wonderful feeling when you walk into a house that smells of baking pies, or those wonderful almond, cinnamon and nutmeg and clove spicy scents. Yummy! So I will try to find some appropriate recipes to work on before our reunion happens. General things on the menu are Tamales, Red Chili, Carne Adovada (Pork marinated in Red Chili with a smidgen of oregano in it and baked in the oven), Posole, Baked Ham, Chili con Queso dip, Cheese Balls, Vegetable trays and dipping sauces, Homemade Bread Rolls, Bizcochitos (anise cookies), Gingerbread cake, Nut Rolls, Pecan Pie, and I have promised my great nephew cheesecake (Rog's recipe which he won lst prize for at work). I am going to look for some new cookie recipes, some fruit pie recipes for mini pies, and some interesting desserts. I may also make some seafood recipes, not sure yet -- depends upon what I find that works. If you have any, please pass them along.
  
• Decorating -- I will start decorating the house tomorrow inside, and do a little work outside before I string up any of the lights outside. I don't have the same landscaping out in the front yard -- for one thing my large area of junipers is gone, and I will have to find other ways to decorate the front yard -- but I will find something that works. I took out the lawn and put in planters and some Southwest plants, and rock, flagstone, and other 6x9 stones for a patio area in the front. I do have lots of bushes out front, but some are not fully developed -- so we'll see how it ends up. Thankfully I do have some good pine trees in my courtyard, and I will be putting lights on all those bushes this year so it will have a nice Christmas-y feel to it. I love the lights at Christmas! Last year I bought some lovely glistening wreaths for the gates, and I found some pretty glittery red bows for the pillars on the porch, and some lighted candy canes that I will put out in the yard somewhere . It will be a new challenge to figure out how to decorate -- but I generally am good about working it out given a little time. Inside the new tree will go up this week and it will be decorated with red ornaments and clear lights. I put up all my victorian houses on the window sills and I want to make it look really nice this year with some new snowy trees and a few more lighted pieces. I have lighted garland that I will use outside and on the mantle with some brass candle holders and poinsettias. So it will look very festive in the house. I also decorate the windows in the living room, dining room and kitchen which are all kind of open in the way my house is arranged. Christmas music is one of my most favorite things, and so I will be selecting my CDs and get them ready to play all month long. If you find a good Christmas music CD out there, please let me know. I have a lot of them, but I love checking out new music.
  
• Shopping -- Though I have always done a fair amount of shopping for the extended family, with my current situation, I wont' be doing the same amount of shopping, but I do enjoy giving gifts, so that is still part of my plan. I enjoy wrapping gifts and writing personal cards to each person -- that too is part of Christmas for me. Telling each person how special they are to you and why, and how you will be praying for them in the future. There are certain things you do at Christmas time that you may not do any other time of the year, and for me that is wringing the personal notes about my love, encouragement and faith in my individual family members. These new ones coming up are just so special to me and have such great promise and destiny in them. So every gift is something I really think about because it needs to match their personality and have special meaning for them. I do not want my gifts sitting in their garage or on the top shelf of their closet because it just didn't fit them or their personality .
  
• Church Program -- This year I am narrating the Church Program, and I am looking forward to doing that, and also singing with the Praise Team for our Christmas program. I love Christmas, and being part of things at church is just something I truly enjoy any time of the year, but Christmas it is really special for me and I love all the wonderful messages that are part of our faith and being part of the whole thing. We generally have a celebration for Jesus Birthday after our Church Program, and it is just so joyful and full of exciting things -- the Children all get gifts, and it is just a very special time for all of us. Celebrating Christ's birthday and the reason he came is very spiritually impacting. The joy and peace He brings is still real today!
• Writing Out Cards -- I love this. Really it is something I enjoy doing, and I really try to make them personal and special for the ones that I am sending to. For family it is easy because I know them so well -- for friends who I know on the web, some I have known for 13 or more years, so it is almost as though they were family. Many of them I have never met face to face, but we are as close as friends get. Computers sure have brought the world together in ways we probably never imagined would happen. I always get my cards early and start in writing just after Thanksgiving, so this weekend I will probably dig them out of my closet and get down to writing my special greetings. It is as special in some ways as giving a gift.
• What do I want for Christmas! Mostly to make it through the holidays without coming apart. Life is so different and sometimes very sad without Rog that I have my moments. I want to get through the holidays without too many hard moments -- to remember happy things, and to celebrate the Lord in special ways that bring peace to my heart and future. This is probably the most important part for me this Christmas. Interestingly I don't have much of a list for Christmas -- which may make it difficult for my family to figure out what they want to get for me. I may not be much help . Seat covers for my car would be good, I need them since my leather seats are looking a little worn and they are beginning to tear in places. Yes, my car is not new and due for changing out, but since Rog got me that car, I have a hard time letting it go. He had been thinking of buying me a car before he went home to be with the Lord -- and we had been discussing getting me a car, but I was not that keen on doing it because I felt like my car could make it a few more years before we needed to do that. So I may not change it out until it gives up the ghost. Christmas lists are not a high priority for me now. I'd love to have a bit more direction in my life if I could ask for anything that would be it. God will have to be the one to give me that gift though -- not sure anyone else has the right prescription for that sort of gift. Perfume is always a good choice for me, I like to smell nice. I love spicy and woody scents, not too much flowery stuff -- it can give me a headache at times. I love what most people would call Oriental, woody, more pungent spicy scents. What I call winter-y or autumn scents. Gift certificates from Christian Book Distributing is also a good idea for me. I love to buy their books, and have a huge wish list on their website. If I could get anything else it might be a laptop. I used to try to talk Rog into buying me one, but he always had problems with wireless connections and the problems with security. That's why I don't have one . A new smaller computer with a lot of memory and storage would be good, and those little tower type computers are looking pretty inviting to me. But I don't think I will be getting one this year. AT least not as a gift . I may at some point get one for myself because I wouldn't mind having one to use in my little office in the back bedroom. Anyway, as I said I don't have much of a list....so we'll see what the Lord sends my way through my family. I may buy myself something from Rog, even though he is in Heaven as a way of celebrating HIM. Something to add to my memories of my beloved. Maybe a piece of jewelry with the numbers 18-12-12 engraved on it to show the number of years, months and days I had with him as his wife. Yes, that sounds like a good way to celebrate Christmas and keep the memory of our love. I so love that man, still, and always....

Well that is probably it for me. I am learning how to live my life in a new way, not easy, but I am trusting for guidance daily and will be working at some point next year. That is new to me too. I stopped working in 1995, and going back is a bit of a new turn for me, but God will provide there too.

Hoping that your Christmas plans are special and include a lot of loving friends and family to share the time with. There is nothing like the love you share with those in your life....make sure you take lots of pictures, and videos if possible to keep. They are invaluable, believe me....
God bless you and Merry Christmas -- Happy Hanukkah -- Celebrate with those you love! Give to those who have little...and be generous! God is watching.... :-) Love and blessings!!!

Cathy

Catching UP with Life and the year.....

Well, it's been a year. For those of you who know me personally, either on the web at all the different needlework areas, or my family, you know that it's been a year! Roger my beloved went to be with Jesus in May, and that has been quite a bolt for me to face. Life is beautiful when you are happy, and challenging when you face it without the same joys you knew when you were happy and life was even. Being a Christian, and knowing Jesus as I do, I am not unhappy that my husband is well and walking and running in heaven, and free of all the challenges he faced as a paraplegic on earth, but I miss him terribly! He is and was such a blessing to my life, that being without him is like taking color out of the world. I will never get accustomed to life without my best half. He was and is and always will be the love of my life! The One I treasured and enjoyed with the kind of happiness that people dream of and seldom have. I had it with my Rog, and being without him and all that he was to me is the biggest challenge of my life. We had the best love, the best marriage, the best life together, and it wasn't because we had perfect circumstances in our lives. One of the things I miss is Rog's singing. He used to sing what we called "silly songs", though some of them were very sweet and sometimes loving and romantic songs he made up for me. Rog became paraplegic 10 months after we were married, and we faced a lot of ups and downs as a result of that challenge in our lives, but we did learn to make life happy in spite of the challenges, and in my opinion a hero in the way he faced them. We grew into a oneness that most people never find. He was and is my best friend, my confidant, my encourager, and my best coach and always cheered me on in whatever I attempted. He loved me. I guess one of the things you never forget is the way they express their love to you, and Rog would tell me he loved me and his eyes would fill with tears from the depth of his love for me. He loved me....and I knew it! Anyway, you only find this love when God is in the center of your life I think and that was true for both of us. We were committed to God before we were committed to each other. One thing I do know in spite of the challenge of going on without my Rog beside me, is that God is with me, and I will face life courageously no matter what is ahead. God has plans for me obviously or I would not be here, and whatever His desire is for me, is my desire. I thank God for the promise of eternity and the hope of being in heaven someday with my Rog too, and experiencing the joys of reunion with my family that has gone on before me as well, and enjoying all the wonders of Home with God! In the meantime, I am pressing on into God's will for my life and with all the courage He provides, looking at the future with hope, knowing His purposes for me are good! This of course doesn't mean that there aren't challenges yet to face, and bridges to cross -- it doesn't mean I won't have days when I feel lost or that I won't miss Rog so much it seems unbearable...I've already had days like that, but I also know the God in whom I trust, and He has always been there through the tough times in my life and brought me through. He doesn't change, and the Lord will be with me throughout the rest of my journey -- of that I am sure. If you are facing something difficult today, I pray that God's arms will surround you and give you the strength and courage you need to face the day with hope and know that He too has good plans for your future. Be blessed...... Cathy....

Here is a picture of my beloved....my darling!!!
This is when Rog first came home from the Rehab hospital after he had had surgery and a time of learning how to function after the fall he had taken while rock climbing. We were both so glad to be home and to have the time to heal and work through our new life together. God made it possible for us to find great joy, peace and happiness in our lives, and a great love together. I could not have asked for a more perfect husband and friend as I found in my darling Roger.

I hope my Sweetheart is watching me from Heaven and praying that I will continue my race here and do it well. How grateful I am for the life I had with my husband Roger, and for the joys and happiness we shared. The riches we shared went well beyond what money can buy, or replace.